Low Self-Esteem
How you feel about yourself affects almost every aspect of your life. Learn strategies tailored to help you feel confident in your own skin and express yourself freely.
Is Treatment Available In My State?What is Self-Esteem?
Self-esteem refers to how much confidence someone has in their own worth or abilities. The widely accepted Maslow’s hierarchy of needs places self-esteem at the center of what drives humans, along with things such as having enough food, safety, and even love. Self-esteem affects not only our thoughts but also how we act. As an example, someone with low self-esteem may not believe they are good enough for an opportunity and therefore might not even try for it, even if they could achieve it.
Self-esteem goes up and down throughout life. It does not change quickly, however. Instead, it gradually changes because of an ongoing internal monologue about a person’s sense of self-worth.
Improving self-esteem takes time and effort. In some cases, individuals may have unusually high self-esteem, which can also be unhealthy and might indicate a narcissistic personality disorder. Those with low self-esteem can suffer from other conditions such as depression.
What are Some Signs and Symptoms of Low Self-Esteem?
It can be hard for an individual to recognize low self-esteem or a negative self-image in themselves. These thought patterns can be long-standing and therefore normalized. Checking in on your self-esteem and self-image on occasion is important to self-care.
People with low self-esteem or poor self-image may act meek, but they may also overcompensate by acting confidently. Overcompensating can also take the form of belittling others, which can be harmful to relationships.
For some, low self-esteem and poor self-image can lead to mental health issues such as social anxiety, generalized anxiety, or depression. Low self-image can also lead to disordered eating or eating disorders and body dysmorphic disorder.
People with low self-esteem may:
- Doubt their skills
- Feel ashamed or embarrassed
- Believe they will always fail
- Blame other people for everything
- Set little or no boundaries
- Avoid social engagement
- Hurt others to feel better about themselves
- Avoid compliments
Sometimes, people with self-esteem and self-image issues can have physical symptoms, including:
- Digestive issues with no identifiable cause
- Nausea
- Headaches
- Back pain from poor posture
- Insomnia
What Causes Low Self-Esteem?
Every case of low self-esteem is different. Sometimes a person has low self-esteem because of a traumatic event. In other cases, several small events in life may have chipped away at someone’s esteem.
Uncovering the causes of one’s low self-esteem can be achieved through in-person talk therapy or online therapy. Working with a mental health professional can help people find and address what has triggered their self-esteem issues.
After uncovering the causes of low self-esteem, they can work to realize that these thoughts were not necessarily right in the first place and that they are deserving of good things.
Common causes of low self-esteem include:
- The disapproval of authority figures
- Emotionally distant parents
- Sexual, emotional or physical abuse
- High-conflict divorce by parents
- Bullying with no parental protection
- Difficulty in school
- Religious guilt
- Perfectionist tendencies
- The “glass child syndrome” (which is not a clinical diagnosis but a term for a child feeling overlooked or emotionally neglected due to a focus placed on a sibling with special needs or a chronic illness)
LifeStance Health is a national leader in mental, behavioral, and emotional wellness with multiple locations in 0 states. Services and available treatments vary by location.
Find a provider near you:
What are Some Ways to Foster Healthy Self-Esteem and Self-Image?
Unhealthy self-esteem and self-image can change over time. The following are some techniques people can use to foster healthy self-esteem and self-image.
1. Take Power Away from Negative Thinking
The thoughts that run through our heads are just thoughts, not hard truths. One way to help self-esteem is to acknowledge that thoughts are short-lived and are not facts. This takes power away from negative thinking.
2. Flipping Things Around
When negative thoughts happen, flip them on their heads. Respond to a negative thought with its positive counterpart:
- “I’m unattractive!” becomes “I have a lovely profile.”
- “I’m a burden to everyone.” becomes “I’m grateful for love and support I receive.”
- “I don’t deserve a promotion.” becomes “I’m working hard and doing my best.”
3. Avoid Comparisons
In the age of social media, many of us compare ourselves to others constantly. In fact, a 2025 Researchscape International study (conducted on behalf of LifeStance) that surveyed 1,110 U.S. adults found that 21% felt social media negatively impacted their self-image or encouraged comparison with others.
It is important for those working on their self-esteem to avoid comparing themselves to others. Keep in mind that many people on social media are trying to put their best face forward and that you might not be seeing their struggles.
While the above techniques can be useful for people with unhealthy self-esteem, working on these concerns with a mental health professional in therapy is more likely to create a longer-lasting change.
4. Therapy for Unhealthy Self-Esteem
Mental health professionals can use psychotherapy or talk therapy and psychoanalysis to help those with lower self-esteem. The process begins by identifying the causes of unhealthy self-esteem. The therapist and individual can then work on building a healthier perspective on these triggers and the individual’s self-esteem.
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can work effectively in this process. Therapists may also give individuals things to work on at home, such as journaling, that can add value to therapy.
5. Online Therapy for Self-Esteem
Since it is not always feasible for people to come into our offices, LifeStance offers online therapy as an alternative. Online therapy aims to provide the same quality of care as in-person therapy. Several studies have shown that in certain circumstances, psychotherapy delivered via telehealth is just as effective as in-person therapy, with no significant difference in treatment outcomes.
Get in touch with us today to discuss your in-person or online therapy, or a combination of both therapy options.
References:
Greenwood H, Krzyzaniak N, Peiris R, Clark J, Scott AM, Cardona M, Griffith R, Glasziou P. Telehealth Versus Face-to-face Psychotherapy for Less Common Mental Health Conditions: Systematic Review and Meta-analysis of Randomized Controlled Trials. JMIR Ment Health. 2022 Mar 11;9(3):e31780. doi: 10.2196/31780. PMID: 35275081; PMCID: PMC8956990
Navigating Mental Health in the Age of Social Media (April 15, 2025). Researchscape International Survey. https://lifestance.com/insight/social-media-mental-health-impact-statistics-2025/
Low Self-Esteem FAQ
People with low self-esteem have a negative opinion of themselves. They often think that they are fundamentally flawed in some way and place a generally negative value on themselves as a person.
Low self-esteem can cause several challenges in a relationship including jealousy, insecurity, clinginess, and a willingness to do anything to stay in the relationship, even if it is unsatisfying.
Being a people pleaser is often a sign of low self-esteem. People who try and please others do so because they measure their self-worth from the amount of approval they can elicit.
Low self-esteem is not a mental illness, but mental health and self-esteem are related. Some signs of low self-esteem can also be signs of a mental health issue, particularly if it negatively affects your life.
Having low self-esteem can create anxiety, stress, loneliness, and an increased likelihood of depression. It often causes problems with friendships, romantic relationships, and work performance.
Talk to someone who can help. LifeStance is your resource for finding the right mental health professionals to manage low self-esteem, and other related mental health issues.
