5 Tips to Deal with Depression After Divorce

Divorce is a significant life change that can trigger deep emotional struggles, including depression. Post-divorce depression goes beyond temporary sadness and affects daily functioning, self-esteem, and social interactions. Affected individuals often experience prolonged feelings of sadness, hopelessness, guilt, worthlessness, and physical symptoms like disrupted sleep or appetite changes.

So how come some people bounce back quickly while others become deeply depressed? According to Robin Fleming, LCPC, recovery speed from divorce-related depression depends on the timing of the individual’s acknowledgment of relationship issues, their willingness to openly grieve and accept support, and how they interpret the divorce experience.

Those who proactively seek and use support and allow themselves to genuinely grieve tend to move forward faster.

Fleming explains: “People sometimes recognize a relationship is unsustainable and begin grieving long before divorce proceedings officially start. How someone frames their divorce experience, particularly regarding blame and acceptance, significantly influences the healing process. Those who proactively seek and use support and allow themselves to genuinely grieve tend to move forward faster. Conversely, individuals who avoid or suppress their emotions might prolong their depression.”

Both men and women face higher risks of depression after divorce, though men are more likely to experience it for the first time post-divorce.

There are many reasons for this, including the fact that women are more likely than men to build a support network of friends and family to assist them during this difficult time and are more likely to seek professional help.

Additionally, children of divorced parents can suffer from emotional issues like anxiety and depression, affecting their academic performance and social interactions.

Recognizing these signs early can facilitate quicker intervention and recovery:

• Persistent sadness and emotional exhaustion
• Social withdrawal or isolation
• Sleep disturbances and changes in appetite
• Loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities
• Feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness
• Frequent mood swings
• Increased irritability and substance use, particularly among men

1. Allow Yourself to Process Your Emotions

   According to Reanna Barth, MA, LPC, even mutual or desired divorces can lead to depression due to feelings like guilt and shame.

   “People often struggle with guilt, such as ‘mom guilt,’ or societal and generational shame associated with divorce. Adjusting to managing life independently can also trigger stress, affecting appetite, sleep patterns, and overall mental well-being,” she highlights.

   It’s essential to acknowledge and validate your feelings without judgment, allowing genuine emotional processing and eventual healing.

2. Prioritize Your Mental and Physical Health

   Taking care of yourself physically can significantly improve your mental health. Regular exercise and nutritious meals boost mood and energy levels, making it easier to manage emotional stress.

3. Confide in Your Loved Ones

   Isolation exacerbates depression. Engaging with family and friends provides emotional support and comfort during difficult times, reminding you that you’re not alone.

4. Engage in Volunteer Work

   Volunteering helps shift your focus outward, providing purpose and improving confidence. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, volunteering can profoundly impact mental health by fostering a sense of community and self-worth.

5. Accept Help

   Don’t hesitate to seek emotional support or professional guidance. Therapists and counselors can help manage depression by teaching coping skills and providing a supportive environment for emotional exploration.

People often struggle with guilt, such as ‘mom guilt,’ or societal and generational shame associated with divorce.

If depressive symptoms persist, consider professional help:

• Psychotherapy: Therapies like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can help manage emotional struggles.
• Antidepressants: Medication might be necessary alongside therapy, to provide chemical balance to help alleviate depression symptoms.

Divorce-induced depression can be overwhelming, but recovery is possible. By actively processing emotions, prioritizing well-being, seeking support, and embracing professional help, individuals can work towards fulfilling and joyful lives.