Co-Parenting Counseling: Tools and Strategies for Post-Divorce Success

The biggest challenge for new co-parents going through a divorce is communication. Former partners often carry raw emotions, making any form of interaction difficult or avoided altogether. Co-parenting apps offer a solution by removing the emotional component from communication and focusing solely on tasks and schedules.

Third-party co-parenting apps like Talking Parents, Our Family Wizard, Onward, and Custody X Change are not a substitute for co-parenting counseling, but they provide a range of features designed to ease the complexities of co-parenting. Talking Parents offers secure and documented messaging, ensuring transparency in communication. Our Family Wizard includes shared calendars, expense tracking, and a journal feature for logging important events. Onward specializes in financial management, helping parents track and split expenses. Custody X Change allows parents to create, manage, and modify custody schedules, aiming to improve clarity and consistency for all parties involved. These apps can help streamline co-parenting tasks, making it easier for parents to collaborate effectively.

Co-parenting apps offer a solution by removing the emotional component from communication and focusing solely on tasks and schedules.

Co-parenting apps still require parents to communicate, albeit in a more structured and neutral way.

Kim Bowers, LCPC, LCAC, LPCC emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries when using co-parenting apps. “Parents should establish expectations for response times,” she advises. “Avoid unnecessary communication during work hours or late at night, and always wait until emotions have calmed before responding to upsetting messages, except in emergencies like medical issues.” Setting these guidelines fosters clarity and consistency, helping parents communicate more effectively.

In some cases, co-parenting counseling is not optional. Judges may mandate it during a divorce involving children, particularly when communication has broken down. Co-parenting counseling programs often begin with assessments to evaluate the parents’ readiness to collaborate. According to Brett Green, LMFT, these programs categorize co-parenting relationships into four types:

1. Both parents are not capable due to inability or regulation.
2. Both parents are capable but unwilling.
3. One parent is capable and willing, while the other is not.
4. Both parents are capable and willing.

Through an eight-hour, in-person program or similar format, counselors help parents identify strengths, address concerns, and recognize patterns from their past relationship. These programs focus on the “3 C’s”: communication, cooperation, and compromise. They also address divorce-related conflict, provide tools to navigate parenting challenges, and emphasize healing and new beginnings for the children’s sake.

Co-parenting counseling can be conducted in various formats, including in-person sessions, online meetings, or a combination of both. According to Bowers, the choice often depends on the specific needs and circumstances of the parents. “If there is a history of violence or threats of violence, parents should not be counseled in-person together,” she explains. In such cases, separate sessions or telehealth options can create a safer and more effective environment. Bowers emphasizes that starting with individual sessions is often beneficial to explore each parent’s concerns before moving to joint sessions. This flexible approach ensures that counseling is tailored to the parents’ dynamics while prioritizing the well-being of the children.

The journey to successful co-parenting after divorce is undoubtedly challenging, but it’s far from impossible. With the right tools and professional guidance, many parents can create a collaborative environment that prioritizes their children’s well-being. Co-parenting apps provide a neutral space for communication, while counseling programs offer skills and strategies to overcome emotional and logistical barriers.

The effort required is significant, but the potential rewards—for both parents and children—are immeasurable. With technology, counseling, and a shared commitment to their children’s happiness, co-parents can transform a difficult chapter into an opportunity for growth, connection, and stability.